As autumn works its way into the darkened framework of a
Mid-West winter, my mind seems cued to trek down the familiar deepening of
melancholia. Not the existential doom that’s punctuated certain periods of my
life, more like the Sunday night blues stretched to cover the calendar week. While
I can function as needed and be productive in my endeavors, there still exists
a substrate of confusion and longing. In recent years, I’ve met this feeling by attacking philosophy and literature with the alacrity of a person
who believes they can bear definitive fruit from their endeavors, but have
subsequently backed off the idea that I’ll find any inherent understanding in
life. This isn’t a renunciation of intellectual pursuits as much as it
is an easing into the buoyant waters of acceptance. I have to accept that there
are elements of existence I will never understand. I have to accept that life
includes melancholy as well as joy, as things only exist because of their
opposites. Like Chuang Tzu said,
“The growing and the decreasing, the full and the empty, when one
comes to an end the other has its beginning”
Acceptance doesn’t equate to resignation. It’s simply
forfeiting the emotional antagonism of dealing with the “bad” while taking
action to manifest the “good”. If you allow the presence of adversity as
opposed to meeting it with reactive emotional petulance, the situation, which
exists either way, bears a lesser burden. Acceptance may not come naturally,
but it can be viewed as a practice. If you practice acceptance, acceptance will come easier. Conversely, if you buck against the inevitable, if you hate your situation but
take no action to change it, if you fail to ameliorate patterns of
self-destruction, then you will do nothing but get better at doing that which
damages you, because that is what you’re practicing. So as these Michigan days
shorten and the dark only gives respite to a few hours of grey, I’m going to
keep at my practices.
Meditation for patience.
Time with family and friends for joy and love.
Exercise for health.
Reading for knowledge.
Writing for reflection.
Acceptance for living.
